001 SHOW NOTES: Hush Money, Narcissists, and Spiritual Abuse in the Church

Hey there, Church Disrupted community! Jeff here, and I'm absolutely thrilled to share the debut episode of our podcast!


In the debut episode, the amazing Shawn Reese and Corey Laster join me as we dive headfirst into the deep and often sobering topics that have been lurking within the church's shadows. Yeah, you heard that right. We're talking about hush money, narcissism, and spiritual abuse, and how they've crept their way into the very heart of the modern American church.


It's heavy stuff, but it's something we can't and won't ignore any longer. Even so, we have a lot of fun with it along the way.



The episode starts with the Church Disrupted mission– we're here to take a stand against church hurt and spiritual abuse, one meaningful conversation at a time.


Before anyone jumps to conclusions, we make it clear that we love Jesus and His church. But we're also aware of the deep-rooted issues that are causing pain to real people, day in and day out.


So, we're not here to tear down the church or any leader in particular; we're here to engage, discuss, and work together toward solutions around church hurt and spiritual abuse.


Without some clear rules to keep us on mission and in line, though, the podcast could devolve quickly. So, in episode one we start by sharing the podcast rules and breaking down what they mean to us and where they came from.



THE RULES


1) Honesty is Expected"


2) We Don’t Name Names That Aren't Public Record


3) We Tear Down Toxic Structures and Systems, Not People


4) We’re After Conversation, Not Consensus


5) Healing is Always the Aim


6) No Easy Christianese Answers


7) We Love Our Haters and Detractors


8) We Laugh Often Because It’s Medicine to the Soul



After we talk through the podcast rules, things get even juicier as we explore narcissism in the church and what it looks like. We don’t just throw words around; we dive deep into how narcissistic traits show up in church leaders and the damage they cause.


To help everybody remember what narcissim looks like, we use the acronym SPECIAL ME to break it down (and we have a lot of fun doing it.)


Sense of self-importance
P
reoccupation with power, beauty, or success
E
ntitlement
C
an only be around people they view as important or special
I
nterpersonally exploitative for their own gain
A
rrogant
L
ack empathy

M
ust be admired.
E
nvious of others and believe others are envious of them.


Next up we talk about spiritual abuse. It's like church hurt on steroids. We expose narcissistic leadership that thrives on manipulation, control, and secrecy in the church. Just as importantly, though, we talk about how they do it and why it’s so easy to miss it.


Here's the full definition of spiritual abuse:


Spiritual abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse.

It is characterized by a systematic pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour in a religious context.


Spiritual abuse can have a deeply damaging impact on those who experience it. This abuse may include:

manipulation and exploitation,
enforced accountability,
censorship of decision-making,
requirements for secrecy and silence,
coercion to conform, [inability to ask questions]
control through the use of sacred texts or teaching,
requirement of obedience to the abuser,
the suggestion that the abuser has a ‘divine’ position,
isolation as a means of punishment,
and superiority and elitism.


But it's not all dark and gloomy. We guide listeners through recognizing spiritual abuse, handling it, and finding a community to help them heal from it.


You see, Church Disrupted isn't just a podcast; it's a lifeline for those seeking to heal and grow beyond the hurt. Church hurt sucks, but it sucks worse when we stay stuck in it!


Oh, and we also talk about things like hush money and NDAs in the church. No big deal, just a few things that should never be mentioned in the same breath as the church that are all too prevalent in the “successful” modern evangelical church. Since hush money and NDAs don’t look like Jesus, it’s time to get them out of the church for good.


So, if you're tired of the same old, same old, and you're ready for a real, unfiltered conversation about the church and church hurt, then you’re in the right place.


Give episode 1 a watch if you haven’t already and stay tuned for more episodes, more hosts for you to meet, and a whole lot of laughter (even a few tears) in the process. Together, we're taking a stand against church hurt and spiritual abuse, one conversation at a time.


Best,


Jeff Cochran

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About this blog

We are fighting for a future where spiritual abuse struggles to survive. Why? Because Christians and church leaders are so educated about spiritual abuse that they recognize it early and call it out quickly. When that happens, not only can God's people walk in healing, but spiritual abuse will only be able to survive in the darkest shadows and most hidden places. Spiritual abuse has no place in the Kingdom of God, and it's time for the Church to start calling our own fouls.

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